Ways in Which Being Shy Can Sometimes Work to Your Advantage
By Arlin Cuncic,
People who are shy suffer with many of the same symptoms as those who have social anxiety disorder (SAD); simply to a lesser degree. Most people who are shy learn to adapt to their surroundings and function as well as possible in a world that is dominated by more outgoing and extroverted types. At the same time, it can be easy to get down on yourself if you are shy; it might seem like everyone else is doing better socially than you.
At times like these, it is helpful to consider some of the benefits or advantages of being shy. These might not be things that immediately spring to mind, but they are certainly true of most shy people. This list might also be helpful if you are overcoming social anxiety disorder and still struggling with your naturally shy tendencies.
1. Modesty is Attractive
Most shy people are modest; they are the last ones to announce their accomplishments or let the world know how great they are. They may shrink from compliments or downplay their own positive attributes. Although too much modesty can erode self-esteem, a healthy dose is considered an attractive trait by many.
2. Thinking Before You Act
If you are shy or socially anxious you probably tend to look before you leap. This trait can be helpful when it comes to many life decisions. Thinking carefully and planning before taking action are important for many of life's hurdles including planning for the unexpected, avoiding unnecessary risk, and setting long-term goals.
3. Being Approachable
When shyness is not extreme, it can make you more approachable to others. Shyness, and the modesty and self-effacing nature that go with it, are rarely threatening to others and may lead people to feel comfortable around you. In other words, you don't have an "attitude" that makes it hard to approach you.
4. Calming Effect on Others
Shy people can sometimes have a calming effect on those who are more high strung. Though you may experience inner turmoil as a shy person, your outward persona is probably one of being calm and quiet. This calmness and ability to "not react" may have a positive effect on those around you.
5. Human Services Positions
Do you work in a human services position? If so, and if you are shy, your personality probably serves you well in terms of being an empathic listener; being shy makes it easier for other people to open up to you.
6. More Trustworthy
Since you don't toot your own horn and aren't the first to tell everyone about your accomplishments, others may find you more believable and trustworthy. This can also make you a better leader.
7. Ability to Overcome
If you have struggled with shyness your whole life, then you know what it means to battle, endure, and overcome difficult feelings. Without your struggle against shyness you would not have developed the ability to cope with life's difficulties.
8. Deeper Friendships
Chances are that when you do manage to develop friendships, they are deep and long-lasting. Since making friends is not easy, you may place more value on the friends that you have; and your tendency to avoid small-talk means that your friendships are not likely to be superficial.
9. Successful at Solitary Work
Many jobs require the ability to focus and concentrate in a solitary environment; this is where many shy and socially anxious people find great success. Not having a lot of social ties means that you have less interruptions and less need to validate what you are doing in the eyes of others.
10. Experience Rewards More Fully
Research shows that the brains of shy people react more strongly to both negative and positive stimuli. This means that while you find social situations more threatening than your outgoing counterparts, you may also find positive situations more rewarding. Your increased sensitivity to reward may mean you find more value in working toward goals.
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