Menghargai orang lain

• Ucapkan terima kasih dengan penuh ikhlas pada sesiapa jua yang membantu, menegur dan yang memberikan anda senyuman. Berikan mereka tanda penghargaan dengan ucapan 'thank you' atau 'terima kasih' yang ikhlas, seikhlas yang mungkin sehingga rasa keikhlasan tu meresap jauh ke dalam hati anda, sejauh dan setulus yang mungkin.
  
  
  Dengan ini, anda dapat membentuk diri anda menjadi seorang yang pemaaf, malah dalam jangka masa panjang dapat menghalang emosi negatif dari menompok tebal di minda anda. Jika terdapat banyak emosi negatif berkumpul di sekeliling kita, ia membentuk ‘tembok’ yang sukar ditembusi dan menyebabkan motivasi tidak berkesan selagi ‘tembok’ ini tidak dipecahkan.
  
  Beri penghargaan pada mereka yang berada berdekatan dengan anda. Di waktu pagi, hargai ibu anda yang menyediakan sarapan untuk anda dengan ucapan terima kasih setulus hati supaya dia rasa cukup dihargai. Hargai jasa ketua anda yang telah mengambil anda sebagai pekerjanya di organisasi miliknya. Hargai kekasih anda yang selalu menyayangi anda dan menjadikan anda penyeri hidupnya.
  
  Akhir sekali,  hargai Allah s.w.t kerana telah memberi anda nyawa, kecerdikan dan peluang untuk anda hidup bagi membolehkan anda buat yang terbaik hari ini, lebih baik dari hari-hari sebelumnya. Jadikan pencapaian hari ini sesuatu yang terbaik buat diri anda! Jika kita melatih diri untuk menghargai orang lain, mereka akan menghargai kita juga.

  Kekurangan sebagai kekuatan

  Biasanya, apabila melihat orang lain yang lebih bijak, lebih cantik, lebih bahagia dan lebih sempurna dari kita, kita cenderung untuk merasa 'kecil', rendah diri dan tak setanding orang lain. Perasaan begitu sebenarnya adalah negatif. Anda haruslah menjadikan kekurangan dan kelemahan anda sebagai kekuatan anda. Jadikan kekurangan anda sebagai sebagai pembakar semangat untuk terus memajukan diri.
  
  Mungkin mereka hebat hari ini, tapi tak semestinya mereka akan tetap hebat esoknya. Hidup ini penuh dengan kemungkinan dan berpusing seperti roda, kadangkala kita di atas, dan kadangkala di bawah. Untuk terus berada di atas, kita perlulah sentiasa belajar, menggali ilmu dan menambah kemahiran sepanjang masa. Kita juga perlu mengenal pasti semua kekurangan dan kelemahan diri dan menerokai kekuatan sendiri.
  
  Janganlah anda merasa rendah diri dan terlalu risau dengan kelebihan orang lain kerana anda hanya perlu fokus kepada diri sendiri dan jangan terlalu kisahkan orang lain. Letakkan  matlamat untuk diri anda dan jangan fokus untuk bersaing, tapi fokuskan untuk mencapai matlamat anda. Anda akan nampak kemajuan dalam diri sebagai kesannya.
  Moga tips ini memberi semangat buat anda.

  Bagaimana untuk menggembirakan hati yang sengsara, sedih dan kecewa.

  Pelbagai cara dapat dipraktikkan untuk menghilangkan rasa sengsara, sedih dan kecewa tetapi keberkesanannya terpulang pada ketahanan mental, emosi dan kesabaran anda. Di sini, terdapat 7 tips asas untuk menggembirakan hati yang sengsara, sedih dan kecewa serta cara-cara untuk berdepan dengan emosi tersebut.
  
  1. Latih minda melupakan kenangan pahit.
  Melatih minda melupakan kenangan pahit perlulah diaplikasikan secara berterusan. Anda akan sering merasa sedih dan suram apabila mengenang kembali kenangan pahit dan memori silam yang lalu. Kita seharusnya memisahkan hubungan di antara perasaan kini dengan emosi yang lalu bagi menetapkan azam dan fokus kepada keluarga, rakan-rakan, kerjaya, cita-cita dan masa depan. Anda tidak dapat melupakan semua memori pahit secara serentak, maka haruslah dilakukan secara berperingkat dengan mengalihkan perhatian anda kepada perkara lain. Proses ini mengambil masa, tetapi ia boleh dipercepatkan dengan adanya disiplin diri.
  
  2. Buang perasaan risau yang melampau.
  Ada dua kesan dari sikap risau yang melampau, pertama ia menarik masalah dan musibah dan yang kedua, memberi kesan buruk pada kesihatan anda dari segi fizikal dan mental. Perasaan risau yang melampau boleh membuat anda selalu menjadi sedih dan kecewa malah takut. Anda haruslah belajar untuk bertenang dan melatih diri anda mengawal emosi bagi mengurangkan perasaan risau yang melampau.
  
  3. Belajar rajin bersyukur.
  Ucap syukur ke atas kesemua yang anda ada, misalnya ucap syukur kerana anda masih boleh melihat dan menarik nafas tiap kali bangun tidur dan juga mempunyai kawan rapat yang memahami. Ucap syukur seikhlas hati, sebanyak yang mungkin, seikhlas mungkin hingga rasa syukur tu meresap jauh ke dalam diri anda.
  
  4. Belajar menjadi pemaaf.
  Sikap pemaaf dapat membersihkan hati dari perasaan negatif dan emosi-emosi negatif (seperti takut, sedih, kecewa, marah, cemburu dan dendam). Ia juga dapat meneutralkan gelombang fikiran negatif yang terdapat di minda anda. Ketahuilah, anda selalu rasa sedih dan kecewa kerana anda tak memaafkan kesalahan diri anda di masa lalu atau anda tak memaafkan kesalahan orang lain tehadap diri anda satu ketika dulu. Belajarlah menjadi seorang pemaaf dan ia dapat menghilangkan perasaan-perasaan negatif dan menarik ketenangan datang pada diri anda.
  
  5. Ketawa, ketawa dan terus ketawa.
  Ketawalah apabila terdapat perkara yang menggembirakan anda dan menjadikan anda girang. Tontonlah video yang lucu atau baca cerita yang lucu, dekatkan diri anda dengan rakan-rakan yang lucu serta cari "funny side" dalam setiap situasi, agar anda boleh ketawa secara semulajadi. Ketawa dapat menghilangkan rasa sedih dan kecewa dalam diri anda.
  
  6. Ubah fikiran
  Kita tidak boleh mengubah situasi yang membuatkan kita kecewa, sedih dan murung tetapi, kita boleh merubah fikiran kita dan apa yang kita fikirkan tentang situasi-situasi tersebut walau seburuk manapun ia. Rahsianya, cari sinar mentari di sebalik mendungnya awan. Walaupun perkara tidak berpihak kepada anda, tetapi anda harus mencari cara bagaimana anda boleh jumpa nilai-nilai positif di dalamnya. Anda menjadi apa yang anda selalu fikirkan. Fikiran yang buruk akan mendapat akibat yang buruk. Ini hukum alam dinamakan hukum sebab dan akibat atau dikenali ‘Law Of Attraction’.
  
  7. Keraskan hati.
  Keraskan hati anda bermaksud hati anda mempunyai kesabaran yang tinggi, pandai mengawal emosi dan menerima hakikat dengan hati terbuka. Allah menurunkan musibah, permasalahan dan macam-macam lagi bukan sekadar dugaan, tapi balasan pada perbuatan-perbuatan anda di masa lalu. Buat baik, dibalas baik, begitu juga sebaliknya. Itulah perlunya kita bersikap baik dan berfikir yang baik-baik pada semua orang, benda, perkara, situasi dan keadaan. Sebelum masuk tidur, set minda untuk jadi ceria pada keesokan harinya dan lafazkan dengan nada berbisik, relaks dan tidak terlalu mendesak diri. Selepas bangun tidur, katakan pada diri ini adalah hari yang baru untuk anda dan tekadkan diri untuk menjadikan hari yang baru itu hari yang baik, lebih baik dari sebelumnya.
  
  
   Sumber: http://ctmserver.kkr.gov.my/kaunseling/buletin.php

10 Advantages of Being Shy

Ways in Which Being Shy Can Sometimes Work to Your Advantage
By Arlin Cuncic,

People who are shy suffer with many of the same symptoms as those who have social anxiety disorder (SAD); simply to a lesser degree. Most people who are shy learn to adapt to their surroundings and function as well as possible in a world that is dominated by more outgoing and extroverted types. At the same time, it can be easy to get down on yourself if you are shy; it might seem like everyone else is doing better socially than you.

At times like these, it is helpful to consider some of the benefits or advantages of being shy. These might not be things that immediately spring to mind, but they are certainly true of most shy people. This list might also be helpful if you are overcoming social anxiety disorder and still struggling with your naturally shy tendencies.

1. Modesty is Attractive
Most shy people are modest; they are the last ones to announce their accomplishments or let the world know how great they are. They may shrink from compliments or downplay their own positive attributes. Although too much modesty can erode self-esteem, a healthy dose is considered an attractive trait by many.

2. Thinking Before You Act
If you are shy or socially anxious you probably tend to look before you leap. This trait can be helpful when it comes to many life decisions. Thinking carefully and planning before taking action are important for many of life's hurdles including planning for the unexpected, avoiding unnecessary risk, and setting long-term goals.

3. Being Approachable
When shyness is not extreme, it can make you more approachable to others. Shyness, and the modesty and self-effacing nature that go with it, are rarely threatening to others and may lead people to feel comfortable around you. In other words, you don't have an "attitude" that makes it hard to approach you.

4. Calming Effect on Others
Shy people can sometimes have a calming effect on those who are more high strung. Though you may experience inner turmoil as a shy person, your outward persona is probably one of being calm and quiet. This calmness and ability to "not react" may have a positive effect on those around you.

5. Human Services Positions
Do you work in a human services position? If so, and if you are shy, your personality probably serves you well in terms of being an empathic listener; being shy makes it easier for other people to open up to you.

6. More Trustworthy
Since you don't toot your own horn and aren't the first to tell everyone about your accomplishments, others may find you more believable and trustworthy. This can also make you a better leader.

7. Ability to Overcome
If you have struggled with shyness your whole life, then you know what it means to battle, endure, and overcome difficult feelings. Without your struggle against shyness you would not have developed the ability to cope with life's difficulties.

8. Deeper Friendships
Chances are that when you do manage to develop friendships, they are deep and long-lasting. Since making friends is not easy, you may place more value on the friends that you have; and your tendency to avoid small-talk means that your friendships are not likely to be superficial.

9. Successful at Solitary Work
Many jobs require the ability to focus and concentrate in a solitary environment; this is where many shy and socially anxious people find great success. Not having a lot of social ties means that you have less interruptions and less need to validate what you are doing in the eyes of others.

10. Experience Rewards More Fully
Research shows that the brains of shy people react more strongly to both negative and positive stimuli. This means that while you find social situations more threatening than your outgoing counterparts, you may also find positive situations more rewarding. Your increased sensitivity to reward may mean you find more value in working toward goals.

10 Ways to Be a Good Role Model for Grandkids

Grandparents Will Reap Benefits in Their Own Lives as Well

By Susan Adcox,

Sometimes when my grandchildren do something that I don't like, I cringe a little, because I recognize their behavior as something they could have learned from me. Grandparents are role models for their grandkids, often in ways that we may not realize. Here are some suggestions for being a good influence on your grandchildren and enriching your own life along the way.

1. Be Happy With Your Appearance.

If you're a grandparent, chances are that you have a few bags and bulges that you haven't always had. Accept them. Our young people live in a world that values appearance above almost everything else. No matter how consistently you praise their natural beauty and their inner assets, they are still getting many messages saying that they aren't perfect enough. You can give them a contrary point of view, but it starts with accepting your own appearance.

2. Be a Good Giver.

We sometimes say that there are two kinds of people in the world, givers and takers. That's an over-simplification, because givers sometimes give in an attempt to manipulate others or to control a relationship, in which case they are not true givers. Be sure that you give with a free heart and in situations where you derive no personal benefit. Volunteering can be a way to practice giving, and volunteering with grandchildren spreads the giving habit.

3. Rank People Above Things.

People are more important than things, although your adherence to this philosophy may be tested when a grandchild breaks a treasured possession. No one is saying that grandchildren should not be taught respect for the possessions of others. But check yourself. If the things that occupy your time and excite your passion are all things, you are definitely sending the wrong message to your grands. People should outrank possessions every time.

4. Be Open to Beauty.

A life without beauty would be a sad one, indeed. Fortunately the beauty of nature is never far away from most of us. We can also find beauty in music and art and make our own surroundings as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Don't be embarrassed to talk about where you find beauty and how it feeds the soul, and your grandchildren will be free to share the beauty that they discover with you.

5. Be Optimistic. 
We've all experienced being around older people who consistently take the most negative view of people and events. What a downer! Be someone that the grandchildren will want to be around by looking for sources of positive energy and developing the habit of positive self talk. Besides making yourself happier and more fun to be around, you'll be showing the grandchildren a pattern for living their later lives.

6. Get Off the Couch.

It's great to cheer for your grandchildren from the stands, but it's even more important to give them a reason to cheer for you. You don't have to be on a team or even play a sport, but let the grandchildren see that staying active is important. Find a fitness activity that's right for you, and explore ways to make it more effective. If you can find activities to enjoy with your grandchildren, so much the better.

7. Have a Positive Relationship With Food.

Many family conflicts center around whether grandparents spoil the grandchildren with too many goodies, but there's a bigger picture here. If grandparents are giving non-nutritious treats as a way of showing love, that's a sign of a relationship with food that's not as healthy as it should be. At a grandparent's house, eating should be a source of pleasure and a communal activity, but always with an emphasis on good health and nutrition. Toxic food habits are hard to break, but thinking of how they might influence grandchildren may make it easier.

8. Be Aware of Tone.

When my husband and I have an argument, he often tells me that it wasn't my words that bothered him but the tone of my voice. As we get older, we are more prone to speak in a tone that may be described as peevish or ill-humored. Spend some time listening to others and notice how the tone of their voices affects you. Then strive to cultivate a positive tone. If you have to communicate a negative message, strive for a tone that is as neutral as possible. Families tend to have a distinctive culture that includes a communication style. Make yours one that will be a positive influence on your grandchildren.

9. Embrace Politics.

It's oh-so-easy to say that all politicians are corrupt or inept and recuse ourselves from the whole subject. Government is required for our world to function, however, and people are required to run the government. Grandparents can be good role models by becoming informed, shunning misinformation and engaging in civil political discourse, while encouraging our grandchildren to do the same. Of course, it goes without saying that grandparents should exercise that most precious of privileges, the right to vote.

10. Forgive and Forgive Again.

If you've lived long enough to be a grandparent, people have hurt you. If you have the wisdom that a grandparent is supposed to possess, you've forgiven them. Family members all need to practice forgiveness, or they will live in a constant welter of petty quarrels and family drama. One more thing: Most of the time, forgiveness doesn't need to be offered publicly. It takes place in the human heart.